DebonairBlog - the original Debonair Blog

Question. I'm 26 years old and will be getting married after three years. The girl I am marrying is eight years younger than me. But we love each other. I don't have vices such as smoking and drinking nor have I had any sexual encounters before. Will she enjoy and participate in the way that I want her to? What is the best age for her to conceive?

Answer. You have too much "I" in you. Why should she do what you want? Why not do what both of you want? In a bonding it is "we" that counts. Only then will your marriage be happy and normal. Conception in the late 20s is okay, but depends on many factors such as finance and housing.

Question. I got intimate with my girlfriend. She rubbed her vagina over my penis and although I did not ejaculate, there was quite a lot of pre-cum secreted. I had my underwear and pants on and she had three layers of clothing on her. It was the 6th or 8th day of her cycle, counting from the day she got her periods. Are we at a risk of pregnancy? Should she consume an I-pill? What are the risks involved with its consumption?

Answer. If both of you had your clothes on, just wait for her periods. Although the sperm throws up many surprises, it cannot surmount so many barriers.

Question. I am a 27-year-old married man. About six months ago my wife performed oral sex on me. We indulged in foreplay before intercourse so that she could have an orgasm. But she didn’t get one. I usually ejaculate before she can climax and to satisfy her I need to continue stroking even if I lose my erection. Usually, after five to seven minutes she gets an orgasm. Why does she not get an orgasm during foreplay? What should I do so that she can climax earlier? Is it safe to continue stroking even after ejaculation? I use a condom.

Answer. Try and be patient during foreplay and she will get an orgasm, then start having sex. If you finish earlier, do what you are doing, it is quite safe.

Question. I am in my late twenties, married and have a son. I have a loving and caring husband. But my problem is that I make a lot of sound during sex. This causes many problems when we co-exist with other members of the family. As I love my husband very much, I help him with my hand, etc., but I remain starving many nights. We have to wait for an occasion to have sex in isolation. I have a lot of urges for sex and am suffering a lot due to this problem.

Answer. Not clear where the sound comes from — is it your voice, you passing wind or during intercourse? Take a weekend trip without your son.

Question. I am a 27-year-old man. I have so much pubic hair that it covers my penis. I shave it off repeatedly with a razor, but later, the skin gets extremely jealous. Please suggest an ointment that I can use to remove hair effortlessly.

Answer. Only people get jealous, not the skin. Why not just trim your pubic hair with a pair of scissors? You can try some of the chemical hair removers from the chemist.

Question. I am an 18-year-old virgin. My boyfriend likes to lick my breasts very often and he wants to insert his finger into my vagina. But as soon as he starts the act, I suddenly get a severe pain and very soon, his mood changes. Is there any way that I can satisfy him without feeling the pain?

Answer. Apply a small quantity of xylocaine gel 2% in and around the vaginal opening. Wait for 15 minutes and then wipe it off. You will not experience pain then.

Question. I am a 20-year-old girl. I feel like having sex with my boyfriend, but I have decided to to wait till I get married. I fulfill my urges by masturbating. I masturbate by inserting any long object like my fingers in my vagina. Is it safe? Can it cause any problem in the future? Should I stop?

Answer. Why don’t you have dry sex with your clothes on with your friend? Masturbation is okay and is generally done over the vagina, but be sure what you insert is clean.

Question. I’m a 27-year-old married man. I have had intercourse with a few girls. They were satisfied but laugh at the shape of my penis. It’s not straight, it’s curvy. Due to this I only have sex in the missionary position. Also, my foreskin does not roll back. The maximum length of my penis is six inches. What should I do to solve these problems? Please help.

Answer. Let them laugh, but why not stick to your wife who will not laugh. See an andrologist/urologist.

Question. I am a 24-year-old married woman and my husband is 25. We got married in April 2010. I'm very afraid of having intercourse with my husband because of the pain. We have sex, but he penetrates only the tip of his penis inside my vagina and within two to three strokes he gets satisfied. Please tell me if I will be able to conceive if we continue to have sex like this.

Answer. Semen can enter the vagina in the way you are having intercourse right now and can cause a pregnancy. Why not get over your fear? The chances will then improve. Apply a little Xylocaine gel 2% in and around your vaginal opening and wait for 15 minutes, then wash of the excess. You will then feel no pain.

Question. I am a 23 years old and due to my frequent one night stands I have contracted genital herpes. I wanted to ask weather it is okay for me to continue having sex. Please guide.

Answer. You have a contagious condition, so you should avoid sex when the lesions are present. At other times, always use a condom.