Sex advice Archives

Sex Advice: Can a disinfectant like Dettol be used as an effective method to avoid pregnancy?

Question. I have been told that Dettol is a very powerful and effective disinfectant. If this is true, can the liquid also act as a useful and effective contraceptive, i.e. can it be used to avoid conception by a woman? I have a theory that sprinkling 10-12 drops of Dettol in a woman's vagina a few minutes before the penetrative sexual act should do the trick. But, what I am not certain about is whether this could have any side effects. Would it? Would you recommend using the disinfectant in this way as an effective method to avoid pregnancy? Please enlighten me.

Answer. When scientists have worked so hard to produce different contraceptives there is no reason to think beyond. And certainly Dettol will not be adequate.

Sex Advice: 37-year-old married woman worried about hormonal imbalance due to using female condoms

Question. I am a 37-year-old married woman. I have two daughters, one is 13 and other is six years old. For the first 10 years of marriage, I used copper T as a means of contraception. But in the last two years, we have relied on female condoms. I have had a regular menstruation cycle. But since March 2017, I've missed by period twice. The pregnancy test came negative. The doctor says that since I've used female condoms over duration, it has led to hormonal imbalance. The doctor also advised I stop using those condoms and wait for a month to check if my condition improves. She hasn't prescribed medication at the moment. What could be the problem?

Answer. I agree with your doctor's advice. Get yourself checked again after a month of avoiding condoms. You may reconsider copper T after studying the latest ones available and that may be the best solution.

Sex Advice: 44-year-old man frustrated due to lack of sex as wife suffers from critical illness

Question. I am a 44-year-old man. I have been enjoying a happy sex life with my wife for the last 20 years. We have two teenage children too. From the beginning, I have always had great urge to have sex. My wife was supportive until she suffered a critical illness. She is 42 years old. For the last three months, we have not had intercourse. Masturbation is not satisfying me. I feel miserable. Is there any other way to reduce my urge? Should I take my wife for a second opinion?

Answer. Unfortunately, you will have to be patient until she recovers from her illness. A gynecologist can decide whether any medication can help her.

Sex Advice: Guy worried about younger brother feeling like a male only physically

Question. I am very worried for my younger brother. He is 28 years old. From a very young age, he has always been an introvert. But for the last few years, he is facing a rather peculiar problem. He says that he feels he is a male only physically. But in his mind, he is a female. He refuses to socialise with the opposite sex, and does not want to get married. Also, I have observed he's isolating himself from his friends and family due to this reason. My parents are old and are concerned about his future. What can he do to fix the problem and what specialist can we take him to see? What is the reason for his behaviour?

Answer. Most likely, a psychiatrist will help to decide whether he is a transgender (people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex; for instance, a female trapped in a male body). Should he be a transgender, he will feel more comfortable after the investigation. Don't worry. Please take the help of an organisation like Humsafar Trust, which helps in such matters.

Sex Advice: 69-years-old man worried about frequent white discharge

Question. I am 69-years-old and am a retired man. I have been confronted with a strange physical problem over the last 20 days. I have been a diabetic but with proper diet and medicines, my last sugar level was 130. However, about two weeks back, I had pain due to the lesions on my penis and I applied rash cream and anti-fungus powder to the area. Although it gave me temporary relief, I am now facing the problem of frequent white discharge which has now become a regular occurrence. I have abstained from sex for over eight months, but this constant emissions bothers me. Whom should I consult?

Answer. You can have your discharge examined by a pathologist. With the report, visit a urologist for further advice.

Sex Advice: Guy wanting a baby able to penetrate only 40 percent of wifes vagina

Question. I have been married for a year now and haven't had proper sex with my wife as we didn't have any plans to make a baby. Now, we plan to have one but we are unable to have proper intercourse. I try to penetrate her vagina but I can penetrate only 40 per cent. All my ejaculate ends up on the bed only. Are there any chances that she will get pregnant if we continue the same act? I get too excited too soon when I try to insert my penis into her vagina. Can she get pregnant this way?

Answer. Both of you need to use good lubrication. The position you take is important. Take her leg over your shoulder, so that the penis will be in direct line with the vagina. If you ejaculate with half the penis inside the vagina, chances for pregnancy are there. Should you require further help visit a sexpert.

Sex Advice: 22-year-old woman PCOS patient experiencing severe burning at the vaginal opening

Question. I am a 22-year-old woman and a PCOS patient. My partner is of the same age and we have been together for four years. We have been trying to have intercourse for a year, but every attempt has resulted in severe burning at the vaginal opening. We have enough foreplay but at times even the fingering hurts. We have even used water based lubes but that increases the burning. After consulting my gynaecologist, I was advised to use HH Zole cream overnight for five days and to apply oil later. This hasn't helped the issue. Kindly let us know what is the issue. Also, how safe are the anaesthetic creams? Can they be used for beginners?

Answer. Increase your intake of fluids. You can take some hygienic measures to wash after every urination. Also, snip your pubic hair regularly. An application of a local anesthetic at least 15 minutes before the act will be helpful.

Sex Advice: 51-year-old diabetic man finds erection unsatisfactory

Question. I am a 51-year-old man. My angioplasty was done in 2004. Since then I am under medication. I am diabetic but it’s under control. I am a non-alcoholic and a non-smoker. And, I do not have any bad habits. For the last four to five years, my sexual urge has been on a decline. I know that age creates an impact on it. But since the past two years, I have no sexual urge. Sometimes, I masturbate forcefully against my will, and there is no or very little erection. When I'm aroused, I masturbate but I'm hardly aroused these days. My penis is not tight at all. It is always soft these days. When I have sex (once a month) with my wife it becomes hard but the erection is not satisfactory. Please let me know how can I overcome this problem? I do not have any work-related stress.

Answer. Without a detailed examination it is difficult to identify your problem. Please increase foreplay from once a month to once a week, even if your erections are not that strong. Help your partner reach an orgasm by digital (finger) stimulation. Visit to a sexpert will help.

Sex Advice: 18-year-old unsatisfied of penis size and girlfriend crying during sex

Question. I'm an 18-year-old man. My penis is 12 cm in length, but I want to increase it. What should I do? Once while having sex, my partner started crying and I just couldn't make her stop. What was the reason and what can I do to help her? Also, please suggest a remedy to increase my penis size.

Answer. The best advice I can give you is to feel satisfied with the length of the penis you have. There are couple of reasons why she would cry, one of them could be pain due to inadequate lubrication. More than that, it may be due to the thought that she has lost her virginity. Both of you will benefit by visiting a sexpert. Ensure you use a condom each time you have sex to avoid pregnancy.

Sex Advice: Young couple afraid of sex after painful first time experience

Question. I am 19-years-old and my partner is 20-years-old. We tried sex for the first time and it was not successful. As he entered his penis into my vagina, it was too painful for me and him too. Now we are both afraid to try it again. We don't know whether this pain is normal or not. Please guide us. What should we do to be in the right position and how to check it?

Answer. It is possible that your partner has not done an adequate amount of foreplay to arouse you. This will help you to get proper lubrication, the excitement will also bring about a lubrication in him. Both of you should ensure to use a condom otherwise there is a possibility of a conception. I suggest both of you visit a sexpert for a more detailed discussion.


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