Jokes Archives

Joke: Husband like mobile during sex

Sex karte time Wife - "Aap bilkul MOBILE jaise ho."

Husband proudly - "You LOVE my VIBRATIONS."

Wife - "Nahi, BASEMENT mein jaate hi aapka NETWORK FAIL ho jata hai."

Joke: Men dont like window shopping because

Men don’t like window shopping because it reminds them of their life. They want everything they see, but they can’t have it.

Joke: Husband ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan

Wife: Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan kahan se aaya?

Husband: Mein khud paresaan hu nishan dekhkar. Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi.

Joke: Man walking into a bank...

A man walks into a bank, and after waiting for 20 minutes in line, he goes straight to a customer service rep. and says, "Hey, lady, I got this here check for deposit and I'll be goddamned if I am going to wait my ass on line anymore."

"Please", says the woman. "I won't have that kind of language in this bank." "Well excuse me, but this fuckin check ain't drawing any goddamned interest with you yappin away about my language." "Sir, I don't have to take this abuse" she says.

"Well then let's get the fuckin manager okay? I mean what kind of shit is this I have to take from you?" The manager is summoned, and says "What seems to be the problem?" The woman says, "This man is using vulgar language and I won't stand for it."

The man says "Hey alls I'm trying to do in this goddamned bank, for Christ's sake is deposit this fuckin check for 15 million dollars."

The manager looks at the check and then at the man and says "And this fuckin bitch won't help you?"

Joke: Boy and girl playing firetruck game

Boy: Let’s play the firetruck game.

Girl: How do we play?

Boy: I run my fingers up your leg, and you say “Redlight” when you want me to stop.

Girl: Okay :)

Few seconds later

Girl: Redlight!!!

Boy: Firetrucks don’t stop for redlights

Joke: Ek ladki sadak par akeli jaa rahi thi...

Ek ladki sadak par akeli jaa rahi thi, pichhe se ek ladka bola: Ghar tak lift chahiye kya?

Ladki : Bhag jaa harami 3 din se lift le rahi hoon abhi tak ghar nahi pahuchi.

Joke: Man calling emergency after son swallows condom

One man calls emergency:

"Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!"

After five minutes, the same man calls back:

"Don't worry, I found another one."

Joke: Whats the difference between a banker and a cheese pizza?

Question. What's the difference between a banker and a cheese pizza?

Answer. A cheese pizza can feed a family of four.

Joke: How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Question. How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer. Just one, but it takes a surgical team to get it out.

Joke: An American picks up a hot blonde tourist and...

An American picks up a hot blonde tourist and takes her back to his place. After a round of passionate sex, he asks, “So, you finish?” She pauses for a second and frowns, “No.” Surprised, he grabs her, and they go at it again until she’s screaming with passion.

Afterward he smiles and asks, “You finish?” Once more she smiles, cuddles him, and softly says, “No.” Stunned, but damned if he’s going to leave her unsatisfied, he mounts her a third time until she’s clawing the sheets.

Exhausted, he asks again, “You finish?” Finally, the blonde whispers, “No, I’m Norwegian.”


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