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Joke: Sex and your Stars - Gemini men

Sex and your Stars - Gemini men:

He likes it with the lights on in front of the mirror. He can work any partner into the mood because he knows exactly how to evoke the right responses. Oral sex isn't his favourite pastime, but he will take his time with other preliminaries. Tends to be fast and furious, more concerned with satisfying himself than his partner, but he is more adequate in areas of lovemaking that are often neglected by other men. He can tell a woman exactly what she wants to hear.
His erogenous zone: move your lips and tongue lightly up his arm.

Joke: Sex and your Stars - Gemini women

Sex and your Stars - Gemini women:

Often the aggressor, you are never embarrassed by your behaviour because you never adhere to any standards except your own. Your main requirement: a lover who knows how to take his time. You are a one-woman harem, but a partner should be aware that in a relationship, the Gemini woman is looking for a combination of the spiritual and the physical, the romantic and the practical. You want to talk to the guy after you tumble with him!
Best sex mates are Leo, Scorpio, Aquarians, Libra, and Aries.
Favourite gadget: the vibrator.

Joke: Sex and your Stars - Taurus men

Sex and your Stars - Taurus men:

He's the ideal lover - sensitive and understanding of his partner's feelings. He prefers It slow and easy; he won't be your guide to the exotic unknown, but what he does, he does beautifully. This is the guy to go to for long and luxurious oral sex. Stamina? This man could wear down a glacier! His erogenous zone: gently and slowly kiss and bite the back of his neck.

Joke: Sex and your Stars - Taurus women

Sex and your Stars - Taurus women:

You expect your man to be kind and patient and make love to you by the book. Like to be pleased by sex, but don't look for unusual approaches. But you are a demanding lover and you leave your partner breathless. You have a need for oral gratification, both in giving and receiving.
Best sex mates: Cancer, Sagittarius, Scorpio, and Leo.
Most likely kink: sucking on your toes, one by one. You also like biting.

Joke: Sex and your Stars - Aries Men

Sex and your Stars - Aries Men:

Sleeping with him is like playing croquet with live bombs - you never know what is going to happen! Never expect him to wait for you to be ready - he will rip your clothes off if he is ready to go. Don't tease him or you'd better be ready to deliver. Fond of slave/master games and he likes it rough. Aries men are also explorers, so be ready to go where no woman has gone before. His favourite position: a woman on her knees leaning forward.

Joke: Sex and your Stars - Aries Women

Sex and your Stars - Aries Women:

Wildly sensual, passionate and adventurous. You'll have sex anywhere. You know what you want. Intense and frequent sex. You have a need for complete control, but you're also in love with love. As a mate, you are ardent, loyal, sentimental, and earthy. Biggest thrill - the tickle of a man's facial fuzz.

Joke: Condom Sign - Libra

Libra:

Libras are suave and anxious to please others. Libra condoms are the fancy European models and come in fashionable hand-painted designer packaging. Libra condoms make for an elegant accessory on the best dates. Libra condoms are aesthetically pleasing to both partners. They are reversible and can turn into a diaphragm thus sharing the responsibilities. Libra is symbolized by the scales. When sex weighs heavily on your mind, you want a Libra condom.

Joke: Condom Sign - Virgo

Virgo:

Virgos are fussy and particular. Virgo condoms feature perfection of fit and they keep you neat and clean. Virgos tend to be environmentally sound consumer types. Naturally, Virgo condoms have the lowest failure rate, the highest performance rating and come equipped with a detailed, all purpose instruction manual. Virgo is symbolized by the virgin. When you're ready for some ritualized defloweration activities, you're ready for a Virgo condom.

Joke: Condom Sign - Leo

Leo:

Leos are known for their passion, pride, and (pro)creative urges. Leos tend to be a bit flashy, showy and original in and out of bed. Leo condoms come in gold foil packaging with custom monogramming. Leo condoms come in one size: extra, extra large. Leo is symbolized by the lion. When you're ready to meet your mate and make wild jungle noises, you're ready for a Leo condom.

Joke: Condom Sign - Cancer

Cancer:

Cancer is a water sign and as such is very much interested in safety and tradition. Therefore, Cancer condoms are waterproof and heat treated for hot tubs and natural springs. Cancer condoms make you feel secure. Cancer is also the sign of motherhood. With Cancer condoms, if you decide to become a parent, you can always return the unused portion for a partial refund.

Cancer condoms are clingy. Never has history known a time when Cancer condoms were not available. Fine antique specimens grace many collections. Astrologically speaking, Cancer is associated with the breasts. The makers of Cancer condoms are happy to sponsor the annual spring "Breast Worship Rituals." Cancer condoms are freely dispensed to beautiful, large breasted women. Cancer is symbolized by the crab. When you're not getting enough love and are starting to feel crabby, reach for a Cancer condom.




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