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Joke: Young wife sends her husband to a therapist...

Worried about their less than exciting sex life, a young wife sends her husband to a therapist who winds up treating him with self-hypnosis.
To her joy, everything gets much better.
However, she can't help but notice that each night, just before their lovemaking, the husband dashes out to the bathroom for several minutes.
This torments her until finally, one night, she follows him.
There, in front of the mirror, she finds him applying this therapeutic technique, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife.”

Joke: Why is Cinderella still a virgin?

Why is Cinderella still a virgin?

Because she runs away from all the balls.

Joke: Whats the difference between being hungry and being horny?

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny?

Where you put the cucumber.

Joke: Three babies are in their mothers womb...

Three babies are in their mother's womb.
One of them says, "I want to be an artist so everyone knows what it looks like in here."
The next one says, "I want to be a swimmer because I get so much practice in here."
The last baby says, "I'm going to be a hunter because if that snake comes in here and pokes me again, I'm going to chop that thing in half!"

Joke: You know you are getting old when your wife says...

You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Honey, lets run upstairs and make love," and you answer, "I can't do both."

Joke: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?

Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?

So he could see her crack!

Joke: Erection Difficulties

I’m about three years into my relationship now and I've started to have erection difficulties.
My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viagra and I bought her a treadmill.

Joke: Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy.
Jack got a shock, with a mouth full of cock, to find out Jill's real name was Randy.

Joke: Lady finding whips handcuffs and chains under the bed of her daughter

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.
"What's wrong, dearest?" asked the confused husband.
"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine! What ever are we going to do?"
"Well," replied the man, "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"

Joke: Young fellow asking his grandfather about sex...

This young fellow is about to be married, and is asking his grandfather about sex.
He asks how often you should have it.
His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe you'll do it several times a day.
Later on, sex tapers off, and you have it once a week or so.
Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month.
When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, like maybe on your anniversary."
The young fellow then asks his grandfather, "Well how about you and grandma now?"
His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now."
"What's oral sex?" The young fellow asks.
"Well, she goes to bed in her bedroom, and I go to bed in my bedroom. She yells, 'Screw you,' and I holler back, 'Screw you too!'"




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