Santa asked a girl walking in the street - Aapne pehchana mujhe?
Girl - Not at all!
Santa - Are main wahi hoon jise aapne parson bhi nahi pehchana tha.
Wife: Aapko bus me logo ne kyu mara?
Husband: Are mera photo bus me niche gir gaya aur maine kaha, madam jara sari upper kijiye, photo lena hai...
A blonde is standing in front of a soda machine outside a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine.
She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button. Suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!
She continues to do this until a man waiting to use the machine becomes impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "No chance! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm winning!"
One Monday morning the UPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
“Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” the UPS man comments. Bob, in obvious pain, replies “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing "WHO AM I?”
The UPS man thinks a moment and says, “How do you play "WHO AM I?”
“Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.”
The UPS man laughs and says, “Damn, I'm sorry I missed that.”
”Probably a good thing you did,” Bob responded. “Your name came up seven times.......”
Question. Who is a Consultant?
Answer. A person who borrows your watch, tells you the time, pockets the watch and sends you a bill for it.
Question. What is the difference between love marriage and arranged marriage?
Answer. In love marriage, you marry your own girlfriend. In an arranged marriage, you marry somebody else's girlfriend!
Newton's 4th law: "To and fro motion gives hand full of white lotion".
Funny Sardarji: Hamne Mobile Marriage Bureau shuru kiya hai:
"Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shaadi k liye 3 dabye."
Desi Man: Hum Dusri Shaadi k liye kya dabaun?
Funny Sardarji: Dusri shaadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye...!
SANTA was in a job interview.
Usko sawaal pucha gaya: "Aap ko kitne saalon ka experiance hai?"
SANTA - "saalon ka to nahi par mujhe 3 saaliyon ke saath 15 saal ka experiance hai!"
Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.
