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Jokes Archives



Joke: Two professors chat...

Two professors chat:
- I often experience that ideas come to my mind when I'm already in bed. Does it happen to you as well?
- Sure, that is why I always take a pen and a blocknote to my bed.
- And I take my secretary with me to the bed.

Joke: A sign on a cosmetic surgery clinics says...

A sign on a cosmetic surgery clinics says:
If life gives you lemons, a simple operation can give you melons.

Joke: A chicken comes to a cock and asks...

A chicken comes to a cock and asks:
- You're a man, right?
- Yes of course! - answers a cock.
- But the eggs are at me... responds a chicken.

Joke: The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is...

The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, men start unzipping.

Joke: A lady rebels at a man...

A lady rebels at a man, who is immodestly staring at her in a bus:
- Mister, you are staring at me as if you were undressing me in your imagination.
- Excuse me, lady, in my imagination I have already dressed you up and now having a smoke.

Joke: A doctor of a small village drives a car at 150 kmph...

A doctor of a small village drives a car at 150 km/h. His wife:
- Honey, why are you driving so fast - there might be a policeman around the corner and he would stop you.
- Don't worry, darling, yesterday I told him to stay in bed.

Joke: Plants discuss...

Plants discuss:
Broccoli: "It seems to me that I am like a tree."
Walnut: "And I'm like little brains."
Mushroom: "Ha, but I look like an umbrella."
Banana: "I do not like this conversation..."

Joke: Spaniard Entering Hotel Room

During the international exhibition at Hotel a Spaniard was accommodated next to Swede's room and at the evening he took a bottle of wine and knocks on Swede's door:
- Who's there?
- Juan Fernando Emanuel di Silva.
- Come in, and please let the last one close the door.

Joke: Wives can be only one of three kinds

Wives can be only one of three kinds:
1. Pretty, but unloyal.
2. Loyal, but ugly.
3. Pretty and loyal, but inflatable.

Joke: How can you recognize a gynaecologist?

How can you recognize a gynaecologist?

He's wearing a watch above his elbow.




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