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Sex Advice: Man married for 18 years frustrated as wife not interested in sex

Question. I am a 43-year-old man and have been married for the last eighteen years. My wife is 40. In all the years we have been married, she has never been interested in sex. We have two children. For the last ten years, the two of us haven't had sex at all, ever. Once a month, my wife helps me to masturbate. I have tried talking to her many times about this, I have counselled her, gone on holidays with her and even prayed to God to change these circumstances. But it remains the same. She refuses to consult a doctor about the subject. Her argument is that sex is not important at all. Due to all of this, I developed a psychosomatic auto immune disorder, as it generated a lot of stress. Often, I find myself unnecessarily enraged with some little things my children may have done; I know this is for no real fault of theirs, just the result of my frustration. My wife is aware of this too. Given our situation, what would you advise me to do?

Answer. A family elder might be able to correct her rigid views, or a sex counsellor may be able to help. Continue to pray for God's help, and correct anything that irritates her about you, like perhaps the habit of not using a condom.

Comments (2)

Posted by Makethecall
on: August 14, 2017 12:39 AM | Reply

Seriously man, you need to get a divorce. Ten years without sex in a marriage, there is no point trying to steer a sunken ship. Get somebody who loves and cares about you as it clearly shows she doesn't give a damn about you or your feelings. You haave waited all this time hoping things would change, God is not gonna help you make her wanna have sex with you. Period, get out now or no sex till the day you die my man.

Posted by BEESH
on: August 14, 2017 7:31 AM | Reply

Take her to a psychotherapist (NOT psychiatrist, but a psychologist). I am 100% sure she suffers from repressed sexual trauma from her past (may be before marriage), like rape or sexual assault. She needs to resolve that, and only a psychotherapist can help. Sometimes hypnotism therapy can also help.

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