Question. I am 29 years old and my husband is 34. We have been married for three years and we have an 11-month-old daughter. My husband seems to have lost interest in sex ever since I got pregnant. I have seen him masturbating regularly at night in bed, but he won’t have sex. When I ask, he replies saying that he has got some office tension and needs some time. It has been more than two years since we had sex. I’ve tried to convince him to come to a sexologist or a psychologist, but he refuses. Because of his behaviour even I have lost interest in sex. Please advise.
Answer. A heart-to-heart talk (not beating around the bush) will help to identify the cause of his abstinence. You could start by telling him that you would be happy if he gave you an orgasm through foreplay. A sexpert can also help him get over his problem.
Comments (28)
on: January 18, 2012 6:29 PM | Reply
even i too face the same problem with my wife. i take almost 30 min to continous fucking to reach orgasm and sometimes my wife feels irritated because of such long time. and seeing her irritation i have also started masterbation instead of sex. i suggest u that u dont show any sign of discomfort or displeasure to ur husband during sex and try to fulfill her sexual fantasies than see he will again start liking the pleasure
on: January 18, 2012 7:28 PM | Reply
Are you giving him proper pleasure or just being too selfish to get your orgasm . Husband do loose interest if you aren't giving him pleasure and just lie down for the sake of it.
on: January 18, 2012 7:31 PM | Reply
pl dnt disterb him if u hv any mood go and i mastuboot ur self or reply i wll gv salution
on: January 18, 2012 8:12 PM | Reply
you can catch his dick with hugging and masturbate. then he will come back to you may be he will try to do the same for you by fingering and rubbing your vagina. hence slowly drag him for intercourse by hugging while masturbating.
on: January 18, 2012 8:18 PM | Reply
suggestion : try to have some oral,body touching, kissing him, hugging him hardly....some love talks.....and then starting for the bed sex....may this make some result
on: January 18, 2012 8:34 PM | Reply
try to conveince u r husband other wise i am ready to satisfy u my dear................
on: January 18, 2012 8:48 PM | Reply
cut his penis first
on: January 18, 2012 9:00 PM | Reply
Why dont u try someone apart from ur husband? Mail me :)
on: January 18, 2012 9:15 PM | Reply
come to me darling I will suck ur milk and fuck you in ur pussy
on: January 18, 2012 9:16 PM | Reply
dear ........agar woh nhi karta to mere pass aa jao.......main kab kam aonga lols:p
on: January 18, 2012 9:24 PM | Reply
There is no straight solution to this problem...
I know your family is probably not supportive enough for you to get a divorce and seek some alternative, and neither are you independent.
your husband could be in love with someone else. has he been obsessing with some person or his belongings a lot??
Or may be he is gay and is not turned on by you. In case he is gay...there is absolutely nothing you can do or even medical professionals can do to get your husband to have sex with you. You have to accept that.
As the editor has suggested 'A heart-to-heart talk (not beating around the bush)' needs to happen. Your husband could be shy or simply too ashamed to admit his orientation to you, so you got to be tactical when approaching this answer and find some other ways to get to the truth.
I suggest you try watching some porn videos with your husband, some videos with male bisexuals, if he shows increased interest in these videos, then you would know. This is not only to find out whether he is gay or not.... many people have different tastes..there is a whole list of categories of porn videos..you could try them with him to gauge his interest.
If everything fails, try some other ways to satisfy yourself. Sex is more important to life than many people realise, you wouldn't want to end up a bitter old lady all alone in your life.
And please get a job and be independent. If you are not satisfied in yor home front, at least you could drown your sorrows in your job. Soon your kid is gonna go to school and you are going to be all alone in your house.
Buy some dildos. May be have a discrete affair, if your husband is not satisfying you, what else can you do. May be there is someone you know, you could trust to keep it a complete secret.
Someone who likes you and admires you.
on: January 18, 2012 10:09 PM | Reply
hi madam
its very bad situation for u.bcos sex is very lovable act and i also love to do it.
Plss contact me,we can enjoy with secrecy and privacy...promise
on: January 18, 2012 10:47 PM | Reply
When Ur husband does masturbate then U also start masturbate by showing him and tell him that U got horny to see him masturbating. And then get close to him day by day. He will be fine after a certain period. Cheers!!!
on: January 18, 2012 11:39 PM | Reply
i have the same issue...
i also prefer masturbating in bed rather than having sex with my wife.....even when she is horney i avoid sex but prefer masturbating after she sleeps...
the real problem here is that sex btw us is more act her than me,....i dud love it if my wife can do things to me than expect things from me...
like maybe give me a hand job.....blow job....and make me happy for once than satisfy her only when she is feeling horney....
i wish someone cud give this advice to my wife...
on: January 19, 2012 2:48 AM | Reply
May be you have lost your previous sexy shape after pregnancy. If it is the reason, try to be sexy, reduce extra fats, use ointments to remove stretchmarks, and be sexually and romantically shy, as you used to be when you were just married! May be this can do the trick for you, wish you luck.
[P.S. if this fails, inquire if he is in a secret affair with another person.]
on: January 19, 2012 7:08 AM | Reply
You tell that it has been more than two years since you both had sex. Then where did the 11 month old daughter come from?? ..naughty aunty!!
on: January 19, 2012 10:10 AM | Reply
males are very visual creatures. are u dressing in a sexy manner. each person has its own taste, some like women in sexy sarees and some in skirts.
try options. intead of thinking about urself. why do not u give him a blow job. he will slowly be interested in u.
i think u are selffish towards ur own satisfaction.
on: January 19, 2012 1:14 PM | Reply
Agar tumhara koi bhai ho to use bulao aur raat me apne paas sulao.sote time apna pair uske laude par fenk do aur jab uska lauda khada ho jaye to dheere se pakad lo aur chudwa lo.bahut maza ayega.ya fir mujhe bhai bana lo.
Ye sab us hizde ke samne hi karna.
on: January 19, 2012 1:31 PM | Reply
SAME FELT HURT PAINFUL STRICT NOT MARRIAGE WHEN IT OPEN THEN MARRIAGE HAPPY.
on: January 19, 2012 1:35 PM | Reply
You say that you have a 11 month old daughter and also you say that it is been 2 YEARS since you had sex with him. Isn't there is logical glitch??? ;)
on: January 19, 2012 4:06 PM | Reply
very good sugession. Seems u have thought enough.
on: January 19, 2012 4:50 PM | Reply
Iss kalyug mein to Gawar bhi english bolne lage!!!!bhag DK BOSE!!!
on: January 20, 2012 3:31 AM | Reply
@Raj i was thinking the same ;)
11 months old daughter, while you say its been more than two years since sex?
on: January 21, 2012 3:08 AM | Reply
pregnancy ke 9 mnths bhool gye..
9+11=20 almost 2 years :)
on: January 22, 2012 10:32 AM | Reply
i think the woman need not sit n count each mnth and day to giv an exact data to you abt the abstinence period jus ave a lil bit of opinion frm your side..u ppl ask such rubbish questions instead of saying wot is required of you..
on: January 22, 2012 11:43 AM | Reply
Hijdeka lund cat dalo. Koi fayda nahi ese logonka.
And mrs...
Ap afair chalukaro.
on: January 23, 2012 11:54 PM | Reply
DO U FUCKING WITH MEEEEEEEEE BABY
on: January 26, 2012 6:10 PM | Reply
dear me karuga tumhare saath sex daily.