Previously: Joke: How To Get Rid Of Blind Dates - III
During dinner guard your plate with your fork and steak knife. Give the impression that you'll stab anyone, including the waiter, reaching for it.
Collect all of the salt shakers from tables surrounding yours. Use them to build a tower on your table.
Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.
Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions.
Repeat every third third word you say say.
Proudly explain to your date that you were voted "Most Festerous" in your high school yearbook. Give examples of why it was appropriate.
Read a newspaper, book or listen to a book on tape during the meal.
Order your food by colors and textures. Sculpt.
Insist that the waiter cut your food into little pieces.
Insist that the waiter take one bite from everything served to you. Explain that you need to make sure no one has poisoned your food.
Accuse your date of espionage. Pretend you have a secret microphone hidden on your body and you are talking the CIA.
Don't use any verbs during the entire meal.
