MEN'S ADS:
40-ish - 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic - Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking - Unusual hair growth on ears, nose & back
Educated - Will patronize the hell out of you
Free Spirit - Will take your sister
Friendship first - As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun - Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking - Arrogant
Very good looking - Dumb as a board
Honest - Pathological Liar
Huggable - Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle - Insecure mama's boy
Mature - Older than your father
Open-minded - Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit - Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Sensitive - Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive - Gay
Spiritual - Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable - Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
