Jim goes into confession and says "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, last night I had sex with a woman who is not my wife."
The Priest says "Son, I cannot grant you absolution unless you tell me her name. Who was this woman?"
Jim says "Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."
The Priest says "Was it that red-haired hussey Maureen O'Flahherty?"
"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."
The Priest says "Was it that adulterous Sheila Calhoun?"
"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."
The Priest says "Was it that brazen Mary Callaghan?"
"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."
The Priest says "Was it that wicked woman Kathleen O'Connor?"
"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."
The Priest says "Well, if you will not tell me her name, I cannot grant you absolution. Begone!"
So Jim leaves the church and meets his friend Jonno outside.
Jonno says "Hey Jim, you're not a Catholic, surely you weren't trying to get absolution?"
Jim says "Nah, just picking up some tips..."
