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Joke: Hyderabad joke

Editor: I sincerely apologise to those who don't understand Hindi, especially Hyderabadi Hindi. I had to share this wonderful joke and there is no point in translating it. It will take away all the fun. Sorry again.

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name is Howla. His father is ambitious to educate Howla.

Howla goes to school in Tappa Chabutra. Its principal was educated in Urdu high school and claims that he passed tenth class!

There is a school inspection the next day and the conversation is as follows:

Teacher: Kal inispector ayinga. Kochanaa (questions) puchinga. Sab achaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho main uske pairaan thodtoom.

Howla: Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai hai usku? Kya kochanaa puchta kathey?

Teacher: Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan nikaltey. Tereku main absent nai daalthaum.

Ghar pe baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to inispector ke saamney mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu.

So our Howla is excited, goes home and tells his father that he is not going to school the next day.

Father: Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan ka dabba hai? Gaand pe maartaun saale tu ischool nai gaya to.

Howla: Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke.

Father: Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Howla ischool nai jayinga kathey kal. Agar iney ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Howla, agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan pairaan thod daaltaum.

So Howla cries and finally agrees to go to school. Next day in school, Teacher is very upset to see Howla back:

Teacher: Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kaiko aaya re ?

Howla: Mera bava gaand phodtum bola ischool nai gaya to.

Teacher: offo?! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last bench pe baith aur inispector aya to chchup jaa. Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa meri noukri lag jayingi.

So Howla goes to sit in the last bench hiding behind a tall guy. Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector: Adaab.

Teacher: Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab. Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte.

Inspector: Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever hai aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal - Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si hai?

Teacher: Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!

Imtiyaz: Saab, Khaleja saab.

Inspector: Aisa! ..... woh kyun?

Imtiyaz: Saab, khaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar woh gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab.

Inspector: Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?

Teacher: Arey Akram, tu bata re.

Akram: Saab bheja saab. Bhejey! ku khuch bhi hua to kuch yaad nahin rehta saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey, iscooter ku kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab.

Inspector: Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu. Chutiye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!

In the meantime Howla is trying very hard to hide but Inspector sees him. He thinks Howla is hiding because he does not know the answer.

Inspector: Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa woh pottey ka naam kya hai?

Teacher: kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku dikhaa re tu) Woh Howla hai saab.

Inspector: Howla? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se lagaathey re bhai naamaan! Howla, woh lambu ke peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?

Howla: Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab.

Inspector: Tereku yaa mereku??

Teacher: Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku maarthaum aapku. Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab, jhoot bolraa. Abey Howla, answer maloom hain to bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau padthaum.

Howla: Saab sabse nazook cheez apne body mein Gaand hai saab.

Teacher: Allah!! Iney moo khola meri gaand lag gayi re!!!

Inspector: Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan kaa answer hai re?

Howla: Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai.
Kaiku boletho ... wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata ... Yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat thi ... Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey ... wahaan new city mein sabki gaand phat thi.

Uttaa kaiku saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere teacher ki gaand phatri dekho!!!!

Comments (50)

Posted by chetan
on: March 14, 2008 1:52 PM | Reply

amazin..... fantastic.... mind blowin....

Posted by comenotty
on: March 14, 2008 2:00 PM | Reply

LOLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Posted by JAYANTA
on: March 14, 2008 2:35 PM | Reply

what a lovely extract of hyderabadi lingo.

Posted by Adithya
on: March 14, 2008 3:00 PM | Reply

Fantastic...

Posted by alan
on: March 14, 2008 4:32 PM | Reply

wonderful ,,,,but this joke has a reality in it ....that we still as a society are no tmature enough to stop the nonsense of communal violence.

Posted by imaginativelover2000
on: March 14, 2008 4:34 PM | Reply

Hahahahaha.. damn good. The Hyderabadi lingo is mindblowin.. :-)))

Posted by
on: March 14, 2008 4:57 PM | Reply

three cheers to HYD...

Posted by alif
on: March 14, 2008 6:15 PM | Reply

kya baatein karte tumhi.. bahut khoob re bava. kahasech seekh kar aaye.

Posted by raj
on: March 14, 2008 7:43 PM | Reply

Grrrrrrrrrrrrreat man.
too good ,if u can visulize the teacher, inspector and HOWLA in a class.
keep it up.
the session /question answers of inspector and Howla should last for some time.

Posted by mamu
on: March 14, 2008 8:05 PM | Reply

fantastic job

really mast maja aya yaar sunke

mast hasa

Posted by anand
on: March 14, 2008 8:09 PM | Reply

nice try . Hyderabad lingo is so simple to understand
anand

Posted by Harish
on: March 14, 2008 8:37 PM | Reply

wonderful narration,but there are lots more such humour present in Hyderabad keep posting more,we should be proud to make readers laugh,pl.dont apologise while posting

Posted by Rambo
on: March 14, 2008 9:55 PM | Reply

Excellent, we want more of Hyderabadi joke's, this was mind blowing, we are one of the lucky guys to have lived in Hyderabad and understand the lingo !! Great keep it up !! Jo MaKede nai samje unki bhi Jai,
Are Anna log aur Mia log, ya per (Toronto and sarrounding area's, specially Mississauga me) kafi Biryani ke dukan hai per apni hyderabad ki bat nai aati mamu, koi wan se accha Biyani banae wala aa gaya nai, uski chandi ho jaingi, log ya per pagal ke jaisa kharid rai, lekin maja nai hai bhai, dun lakh he upar dsi log hai idar, soch ke bolo, koi hai to, mai sponcer bhi kartu, parsu tak bolo merku, serious hu bhai...

Posted by gaurav
on: March 14, 2008 10:35 PM | Reply

maza aa gaya

Posted by khan
on: March 14, 2008 10:37 PM | Reply

Awesome joke.....Excellent

Posted by hydi
on: March 14, 2008 10:48 PM | Reply

lolz great

Posted by
on: March 15, 2008 12:46 AM | Reply

mast mama....

Posted by Vk
on: March 15, 2008 1:56 AM | Reply

zabardast hai
maza aa gaya!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by janaganamana
on: March 15, 2008 2:20 AM | Reply

fucking hilarious...ehm...

Posted by Prabhjeet
on: March 15, 2008 2:48 AM | Reply

Am a punjabi. But I can read this Hydrabaadi Lingo. This is awsome. Am still laughing. Fantastic, Superb...! Great extracted.

Posted by
on: March 15, 2008 2:57 AM | Reply

this is a famous hyd joke, thnx for posting,

Posted by papamma
on: March 15, 2008 4:18 AM | Reply

kya joke re baap.....mian inta hasa.....main inta hasa...haske...haske.. mere gaand phaad gaye..........

Posted by KK
on: March 15, 2008 5:06 AM | Reply

Yaara...I cant control my laugh....am goin nuts...cool dude

Posted by kazzak
on: March 15, 2008 6:47 AM | Reply

offo, iski maa ki..kya bole bhai!! howle ke vajeise teacher ki tho gaand chindi hogayi na!

Posted by bombay boyz
on: March 15, 2008 6:49 AM | Reply

too good. rolling on the floor laughing.

Posted by bliss
on: March 15, 2008 10:53 AM | Reply

ha ha. really amazing.. with d pure hyd touch!

Posted by Turab
on: March 15, 2008 11:46 AM | Reply

Have never read another joke as wonderful as this one. This is as good as it gets in Hyderabad.

Posted by asifhyd
on: March 15, 2008 1:29 PM | Reply

abba padke maaza agaya yarro kuan to bi howla bheja ye joke tum ko editor saahaab mere ko uska naam bolo yaaro

Posted by Rizwan
on: March 15, 2008 6:18 PM | Reply

Arey! Kya joke to likharay. Ek dam chakkas.

Posted by Pirates
on: March 15, 2008 7:23 PM | Reply

absolutely amazing.Now to the writer I am saying 'which is the softest part of the body' do u think

Posted by rakesh
on: March 15, 2008 7:39 PM | Reply

kya joka dale bawa............dil ekdum khush ho gaya na......

Posted by Kumar
on: March 15, 2008 8:11 PM | Reply

Amazing awesome ther r no appropriate words words to say how fantastic that was absolutely beautiful.One thing I would say the essence of this beautiful joke would have been spoiled if this is translated instead of its original version.Keep going

Posted by Howla
on: March 16, 2008 1:33 AM | Reply

mindblowing

Posted by Asli Hyderabadi
on: March 16, 2008 6:31 AM | Reply

Lauda New City ki baat kaiko kar re ? Hamich mile kya ? Kya tumbhi hawle ke baaton mein aake haule bangaye kya ? Mast joke tha lekin hamari nahi phat ti bawa aisa hamlogaan mehsoos karate tum logon ko nahi toh Old City waale kaisa apne aapko Tigeraan bolte phir ? ---- Asli Hyderabadi

Posted by thedruid
on: March 16, 2008 9:07 PM | Reply

kya joka tha re miyaan. has has ke pet phat gaya. maaki.... teacheraan bhi phattu nikla na re yaaron!

Posted by akheel
on: March 17, 2008 3:01 AM | Reply

waah! patthe aisich rehna boltun joke bolle toh isku bolte samja
Nahi samja toa kya hua tere jaise ghade he story padhte

jo story nahi padhpaya ousku bolrun

Posted by
on: March 17, 2008 4:57 AM | Reply

Good joke boss..laughed for several minutes...thanks. Anwar

Posted by srini
on: March 18, 2008 1:45 PM | Reply

great .............. good one.

Posted by rajay
on: March 18, 2008 2:50 PM | Reply

excellent hyd lingo recollected my old childhood friend language.

Posted by Mr. Bond
on: March 18, 2008 3:27 PM | Reply

EXCELLENT, The reaal Hyderabadi joke, keep going.

Posted by raza
on: March 18, 2008 6:10 PM | Reply

itta zabardast joke,ek zamane ke baad suna pasha,lage reh,dete jaa.that was awsome my hyderabadi lingo is sweet.some more please.nai to mai joke bolke sabi gaaaand phadtau............ha ha

Posted by Rajendra
on: March 18, 2008 6:47 PM | Reply

its one of the great joke i read here till now

Posted by sObZ
on: March 19, 2008 4:28 AM | Reply

mInD bLoWiN.... :D

Posted by
on: March 20, 2008 1:16 AM | Reply

great,,,maza aa gaya,,,hass hass ke meri bhi phatt gayi

Posted by dude
on: March 20, 2008 1:18 PM | Reply

hahahahaha.....i cant control my laugh...its very very hilarous..i love this joke...post some more like this

Posted by
on: March 20, 2008 5:42 PM | Reply

tabba chabutre ki yaad diladiya miyaan tu to. Sarkaari schoolon ke teacheraan sahi mein aisich rehtey ......inki *****....

Posted by
on: April 2, 2008 3:29 PM | Reply

excellent man, keep it up, wonderful extract of hyd lingo, its very very hilarous

Posted by JAS
on: June 11, 2008 4:21 PM | Reply

this is too gud. Request you to put more of such ....

wonderful

Posted by saahil
on: July 10, 2009 3:44 PM | Reply

exceptionally mind blowing...lolz..

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