1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy’s dick don’t grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don’t use the love sword as if it’s a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be awed, worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down.
2. ROBOTS: When sucking a guy’s dick don’t just get on the end of the thing and jam your head back and forward. It’s a beautiful instrument; it should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every possible angle.
3. SILENT FRIGHT: If you’ve come and cannot be coerced to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some sort of sign to inform the guy that he’s done his duty and can blow his biscuits whenever he wants.
4. NO LAUGHING MATTER: Don’t laugh if your creative male lover gets carried away and says things like, “I want to rinse your mouth with my fresh, white love potion.” Laughter at any aspect of the male performance will not enhance it. Just be grateful you’ve got a guy who can speak in whole sentences.
5. CLOSING UP: If a man is willing to take the trouble to come on your face, don’t close your eyes. He wants you to share this ecstatic moment of joyful union and love with him. Semen is not likely to cause permanent blindness in most cases - but this is a risk you should be prepared to take for his happiness.
6. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don’t wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it.
7. HANGING AROUND: When he is done, you should not kiss and cuddle, he does not want to touch you. You should leave the bed and leave him in peace. If you are a one-night stand you should leave the premises with out thieving anything or asking for a phone number. His work is done.
8. BEING SHY: Always offer the Hershey Highway. You know you love It. If you don’t like it that much, still offer it as you can quite easily play with yourself as he rams away.
9. BEING A DRIP: You always have tissues in your bag, use them to clean his sheets and any ball bag drippage if you have misbehaved and not swallowed everything.
10. CLOCK-WATCHING: Never, ever, ever, ever even think of saying: “Are you going to come soon.” If you’re doing a blowie, you’d have to take your mouth off to utter the question. If you’re giving a hand-job, you should have gone to the gym to work your biceps. If he’s shagging you and takes more than 10 minutes you should be grateful. This is not a time trial but a blissful act of union between two sexually aware and gifted human beings.
11. FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS: Don’t ask him if you’re the best lover he’s ever had most men have had so many sexual partners that it is unlikely that you are. Please don’t ask a man to lie about such an important thing.
12. PLAYING DEAD: Don’t just lie there, do something. Good sex is not a spectator sport and it helps if both parties move around a bit. I know you expect the men to do all the hard and skillful work. We don’t mind that and we’re blessed with the equipment and know-how to do it but at least put some effort into the act to show your appreciation.
13. BEING POSSESSIVE: If you are lucky to have an imaginative lover who can satisfy two women at a time don’t sneer at or reject his exciting suggestion that one of your friends joins you to make up a threesome. If he’s a real man he’s probably shagging her anyway. Plus you might learn something from her to keep your man really happy.
14. NOT KEEPING YOUR HAIR ON: Don’t shave all your pubic hair off. It makes your snatch look like a piece of poultry past its sell-by date. At best, it looks like the snatch of a ten-year-old. If you want to trim, go for a nice sexy racing stripe in the manner favored by the Playboy models that your man would rather be shagging.
15. SPITTING IT OUT: When a man has gone to so much trouble to ejaculate and get his aim right into your mouth, it is rude to spit it out without savoring taste and gluey texture. You should play with semen like a block of Hubba Bubba, blowing bubbles, chewing and throwing from side to side. A line like “I love it when you come in my mouth” makes for a happy finale to fun and games.
16. BEING UNGRATEFUL: Never forget to thank a man for all the effort and energy he has expended on making love to you - especially if a)sex has lasted more than five minutes and/or b)you managed to achieve an orgasm. A man’s role in sex is far more demanding than a woman’s so it is always nice when one’s prowess is appreciated.
17. SEEKING FAVORS: Never contemplate taking advantage of your man’s warm after-sex glow to seek favors or make requests. As he drops off into well-deserved slumber, resist the urge to ask, “Do you think I should buy that dress, skirt, sofa, Mercedes, country cottage?” There is a name for the practice of mixing sex with material gain - prostitution.
Comments (21)
on: October 2, 2007 5:32 PM | Reply
Editor,
This is a nice piece of advice for women, couldn't say anything else.. and the part 17 is a good one.. Inoverall all married women who dont like to do blow job or find it dirty should READ THIS!!! Guys!! PASS THIS MESSAGE AROUND...
on: October 2, 2007 7:32 PM | Reply
great info for females
guys spend so much energy but if gals can follow atleast a few of the 17 rules then sex will be more enjoyable.........
on: October 2, 2007 8:34 PM | Reply
well done dude, every girl should read and imbibe the good advice.
on: October 2, 2007 11:30 PM | Reply
ha haaa! I must pass this to my girlfriend. She fails in most of them.
on: October 3, 2007 10:50 AM | Reply
Hilarious !!!
on: October 3, 2007 11:56 AM | Reply
I'm fond of DB only for these type of sexual facts,..
I'm delighted to read this and suggest every woman must read this,..
love
on: October 3, 2007 12:29 PM | Reply
Very nice. Mostly, we men are treated like shit or perverts or branded as sickos, if we ask for sex or try to enjoy sex, even with our wives. Our job is to provide provide provide.. and get nothing in return. Over the centuries, women have been conditioned to act as martyrs, so much so that now, the girl child is born as a martyr. She grows up, conditioned to demand from her father, brothers, her boyfriend and then from her husband.. and give absolutely nothing in return. And if the male demands anything, he is promptly branded as a pervert and thrown to the wolves or to the media, or worse, to the police ...
on: October 4, 2007 2:38 AM | Reply
ha ha ha!!! jst those 3 words sums it up!!! if it was abt umm 6weks b4 wudv sent it to GF... bt wel we r seperate nw... so wudnt do ne gud... :S
bt stil gud 2 sav it fr latr...
ove
on: October 4, 2007 1:29 PM | Reply
Guys in India this used to be done only with a man's keep (his personal whore) and not with his wife or girlfriend (would be wife). If you do this with yor wife then its like calling her a whore. Remember this do shit things but not at the stake of culture.
on: October 5, 2007 12:12 AM | Reply
These are views of male Chauvinistic not only they represent double standards but portray men like stray dogs….for eg “This is not a time trial but a blissful act of union between two sexually aware and gifted human beings.” Why is this put into the context, since the whole thing is written about sex, pleasure for males and treating women like sexual objects?
I am surprised editor has not screened has neglected the female reader emotional thoughts on this… The heading of this should be
Male transformation from a dog to stray dogs, with some common practices!
Off course editor you will not my publish my comment, but HAVE THE BALLS TO DO IT !
Editor's Reply: Thanks Wisdom girl for writing in the comments. Nice to know that even girls visit our blog.
It depends upon how you look at it. And it's very hard to please feminists. I do agree with you that (most) men are dogs. No doubt about that one.
on: October 5, 2007 10:43 PM | Reply
I am glad you did posted it and I am sorry for being so harsh on you.
But sometimes it takes alot to prove your point. I do believe, there are more female readers of your blog but simply dont leave comments.
I dont consider myself Feminist but do demand for equality between men and women, regardless of nationality,color,caste and creed. This will only happen when we stand up for things that are inappropriate.
Thanks
Editor's Reply: Its ok wisdom girl. It's all in the family. And I hope there are more female readers on Debonairblog. Would be glad to hear from you on what more you would like to see on the blog from a girls point of view. Please feel free to send in your views to debonairblog @ gmail.com. Thanks for the same.
on: October 6, 2007 1:17 PM | Reply
Too Good... Loved it!!!
on: October 6, 2007 2:12 PM | Reply
Wisdom girl not only lacks wisdom... her lack of grip on the issue at hand (pun intended) and lack of command of the English language, makes her post very confusing. She has merely reinforced the 'martyrdom' viewpoint, in which the male 'enjoys' but the female 'suffers'. The act of sexual penetration is a torture for the female.. or so it is projected. We men have no objection to be called 'dogs'.. at least we are affectionate, loving. loyal and give much, in return for very little. But if the human male is a 'dog', then the human female becomes a 'bitch', and that, surely, does not give any positive signals..
on: October 6, 2007 7:31 PM | Reply
Its very heartening to see that girls are also looking for lust on net.
WisdomGirl >> Your comments are very right understanding your thought process at the time you read this article.
Everybody has a right to express him/herself, but being reactive and protest is not always the solution.
I think, you should also post similar article and Express the feeling which a girl/ woman cares most during inetrcourse sessions. You can write 17, 25 , 50....... more points, you like.
I am sure that the editor will publish the comments if you likes to post the same.
TC.
on: October 6, 2007 11:08 PM | Reply
I agree with imaginativelover2000,
when this "bitches" use their body to get advantage at the workplace or to get promotion in their offices, they called themselves very smart and intelligent.
I have seen many girls in media, advertising agency, hotel management and glamour industry where this "bitches" use their body as a tool to make their bosses pupet (the poor weak souls) use them and exploit them to their benifits.
on: October 7, 2007 12:49 AM | Reply
I think wisdom girl is one of those young women who have been used and thrown and who are confused as to what this world is all about. Get this: Men are idiots I agree but women are losers you should agree. rekee has put it right. you rock rekee. Why the hell do you sell your body and earn money. hahahhah go show your damn frustration to the feminists who do do anything except let the women portray themselves are whores. You can find women in all head positions in India. India is ruled by, Sonia Gandhi, Indian capital is ruled by Shilpa Dixit. India's one of the most populous and important state UP is ruled by Mayawati, Jayalalitha rules Tamil Nadu, ICICI is headed by a Woman, India's Union Woman and Child Welfare Minister Renuka Chowdary is a woman and you name it. Why are they not doing anything for women? Why do women show off their bare naked bodies in the movies just to earn a loaf of bread. Shame Shame losers. Go get fucked... again
on: October 7, 2007 12:56 AM | Reply
I am not here to prove my academics with my perfect grammatical and English skills. Neither I am here to say intercourse is a torturous to women. Indeed no where in my post I have said so….it seems you are dreaming of this thought.
You are obviously were dull in English that simple English language makes you confuse.
Editor has genuinely responded to my concern and I am cool with it. For that matter, I am not at all concerned with what you and people like you may have to say, regarding my viewpoint.
on: October 8, 2007 11:31 AM | Reply
Goddamn. Look at all you peepill getting worked up over gender issues. Gender issues are for feminists and guys who don't get laid. Which one do you wanna be?
So why don't we all relax and be civil, si?
on: October 10, 2007 12:53 AM | Reply
How many of these 17 is any girl willing to do? wondergirl?
on: October 20, 2007 6:26 PM | Reply
Sexcellent advice...
on: November 22, 2008 2:30 PM | Reply
i havent read 'em all..but only a girl who loves ya can do 'these' to you - as her only aim is to give you pleasure ...and out of this, she gets pleasure for her self and dont feel insulted or watever. one advise: even if you dont love tht woman (doin these thingies in your love), you are ought to be respectful and thankful to her for molding her likings in to your likings, yet enjoying it too.
:)
PS: all men and women are equal:) ...peace!