Q. OK. I am a virgin and I want to prepare for my first time. I have tried different female masturbation techniques to try to stretch myself out because the guy I'm dating right now is really special to me and I love him a lot. I think we might have sex. I don't want to have to tell him to stop because of pain. Is there anything particular you suggest? And also, this may seem dumb, but how do I know when I'm having an orgasm? Thanks.
A. You are no more clueless than EVERYBODY is their first time. The most important issue is that you are afraid to tell him if something hurts. That's just plain silly. Even experienced lovers find sex uncomfortable sometimes. You can be with the same partner for years and yet sometimes it will just hurt due to a bad angle, lack of lubrication, UTI, sore muscles, rushing into it, tilted cervix, a rash, razor burn, lying on a hard surface, knees on a hard surface, pinched skin, sensitive nipples ... ok, you get the idea.
Communication is incredibly important to having good sexual experiences. His job during your first time is to simply listen to what you say and to be aware how his actions are affecting you. He needs to put his ego aside and let you "correct" him along the way. If you don't tell him when something hurts, expect him to continue doing it that way. Just take it slow and don't stop communicating.
Comments (4)
on: April 13, 2007 11:56 AM | Reply
As for finding out when you're cumming, it shouldn't feel different (although hopefully more pleasurable) than when you're getting off by yourself.
And if you've never had an orgasm, time to practise by yourself before having sex.
on: April 13, 2007 7:35 PM | Reply
I have a quetion, i would love it if you could please answer this. I have remained a virgin all my life. However recently when i was on holiday, i went to my hotel room with a girl i picked up from a bar. We ended up having sex, i was wearing a condom, but during sex, the condom broke and i was inside of her for probably about a minute before i realised. I later found out that she was a working girl at the bar i had picked her up in when she asked for money. Ever since then i have been living in great fear of catching HIV+. I am very very afraid because my life will be over i am still 21 years old what are the chances that i have received hiv??? please shed some light. I love your site and your questions page.
Editor's Reply:- Dear Sunda, thanks for writing in.
I think you should consult a qualified doctor immediately and get a HIV test done to make sure that things are fine with you. Better safe than sorry. Best of luck!
on: July 5, 2008 7:32 PM | Reply
i m 20 yrs old. Some days back i saw my cousine sister bathing fully naked as i was standing next to the door which was half open she even know about that but didnt react, as i thought that she wants me to fuck her is it ok or not
on: November 16, 2009 8:16 PM | Reply
fuck her yaar enjoy