Q. My wife and I are having sex trouble. We are both first-timers; even though we are both 30. For the last month or so we have been trying to "get it in." It's erect, it does go off when manually stimulated BUT it just doesn't go in. It feels hard enough to squeeze in. I know where I'm headed for. And she's pretty lubricated from foreplay. What do you think the problem is? It may sound stupid, but could she be too small? Or when they say "rock" hard do they really mean it?
A. Perhaps your wife is plenty lubricated. Then again, perhaps she's not. If it's your first time then it may turn out that you guys are mistaken as to how much lubrication you will need. So the first thing to try is an artificial lubricant, such as saliva, baby oil, or I would also recommend a water-based lubricant.
Also, try warming the area up with your fingers. The vagina sometimes or often need a little warm up before a penis can enter them. Even women who have had many partners and are very sexual can have a vagina that needs prep work (the least appealing phrase I've ever used to describe foreplay). Take your time and work your way up from one finger to two fingers and possibly three fingers before you enter her. Also, a female clitoral vibrator may help relax her vagina for sex. If she uses the vibrator by herself and begins to feel more relaxed and turned on without nerves, then this may work as a type of foreplay. She may just be too nervous to relax and needs a little massage to help the process along.
Finally, nothing will make a woman's vagina more difficult to enter than fear and anxiety. If it's your first time she may be more nervous then she lets on. Good communication in your relationship and sexual activities will be the most important thing for the two of you to make sure you have. You must talk about all of this to get through your sex trouble.
Comments (17)
on: April 4, 2007 7:30 AM | Reply
I really like the current doctor's advice. This doctor is mature and compassionte and helpful to both male and female alike. Thanks for not having someone like Dr Premlata chawla who would have said the fault is with the guy! haha. Kudos!
on: April 4, 2007 9:36 AM | Reply
After reading this article I could like to know which water based lubricants are available in market.. Also where can one find vibrators
on: April 4, 2007 11:02 AM | Reply
For first timers, doing missionary style with both on the bed (the same level essentially) can also be challenging as it takes a while (a few tries - quite frustrating ones!) to figure out the right positions and angles.
Try having the lady on a higher table (e.g. a dining or a study table) with you standing. Other positions that are easier are doggy style or with the lady on top (facing either side - your face or your feet).
Good luck!
on: April 4, 2007 12:58 PM | Reply
try lubricating your tool rather than her vegina. It must be her fear of the first time which tightens her vegina, she has to loosen up.
try placing a pillow under her buttox and raise her legs to ur shoulder, this sets the direction of het entrance.
on: April 4, 2007 1:28 PM | Reply
If you are not circumisied , then make sure u pull ur foreskin back to the head of the penis before u insert it in. But you must use lubricant
on: April 4, 2007 3:50 PM | Reply
i can understand the situation this guy is into. I have been to the same situation. My wife & i were first-timer adn we could not perform sex on our honeymoon rather even after 15 days of trying. I started getting frustated about myself. there were times when i used to doubt about my manhood. I tried lots of thing but nothing work. But now i a 4 year married man with a 2.5 yrs old kid and very satisfied with my sex life. the trick is be patience talk with your partner. since its first time you both must be under lot of stress to perform sex and it doesnot happen that way. relax yourself and keep trying. It might happen that we succeed in entering the vagina but still not able to perform bcos of lack of strength just relax & keep trying.
on: April 4, 2007 8:11 PM | Reply
Listen, this is normal. Its just that your wife's vaginal muscles are too tight. During forplay finger her. One finger at a time. till you manage three fingers. Dont hurt her oo much but slowly increase pressure (even it takes fifteen minutes). Make sure your hands are clean and no nails. Than try penetration. Even if the whole length doesnt go in, give gentle strokes of comfortable length for both. No force. As time goes, her muscles would relax and you would get your whole length in.
Most probs since you are a first timer, you would ejac before you get you full length in. Dont worry. Keep at it and before the week would be out, both of you would require someone to get you apart ;)
on: April 4, 2007 8:22 PM | Reply
KY Jelly is a water based authorised lubricant, which could also be ised by Menopausal women to cure Vaginal dryness
on: April 4, 2007 11:14 PM | Reply
मुझे तो लगे है कि ये छोरा चूत की जगह गांड में घुसेड़ने की कोशिश करे है. तभी तो अंदर नही जा रिया है. छोरे लाईट जला कर काम कर ताकि पता तो चले कि कौण से छेद पर तेरा नन्हा मुन्ना फुदक रहा है.
चाचा "हरयाणवी" चौधरी.
on: April 4, 2007 11:52 PM | Reply
unbelivable there are people in their thirties do'nt know how to insert "kya hoga ish desh ke future ka" may be the next generation will not be able to fuck.
Aur upaar ja kaar pata nahi kaamdev ko ye kya jabaab dega
on: April 5, 2007 1:02 AM | Reply
Very good to read. Impressing too.
Advantage for both first timer & frequent doers.
Need more info to how to make more relax to the muscles of women vagina.
Also want know more about "circumisied" .
Serious answers needed ?
on: April 5, 2007 1:54 AM | Reply
hey Rocky....
Can we get this KY Jelly in medical stores ?
on: April 5, 2007 2:03 AM | Reply
Relax her as much as possible. Hymen also could be causing the problem. After several unsuccessful attempts, I succeeded when I tried with a semi erect dick, when she was very drowsy with sleep....
on: April 5, 2007 3:21 AM | Reply
this remembers me of my situation. My gf of 4 yrs never let me enter mine in hers. V used 2 do everything frm fingering 2 licking 2 sucking but insertion. It made me really frustrated. I started doubting my manhood. She wanted 2 marry me. One good day i put a condition that i wud marry her only if she lets mine enter hers. Boss.. That plan worked and trust me, my thing inserted in just first stroke. Only then, i came 2 know that i was always ok but it was she who never let it happen. Ask ur wife if she has such inhibitions.
on: April 5, 2007 3:31 AM | Reply
This has to be the funniest thing I read for a long time. Specially the comments in hindi.
Luckly I had no problems first time even though I was quite young and it happend in very testing situation, with her family not too far from us. Actually it found its mark so quick that the girl had no time to react. Keep trying, better luck soon.
on: April 7, 2007 2:48 AM | Reply
Dont worry. Sex is , in fact,quite dificult. You get
better with practise. It happens to everybody when they start out.
on: October 16, 2007 12:26 AM | Reply
Boss,
I had the same problem. It was a very difficult time for me as well.
Try the following:
Lay her on her back with legs open, knees pointing up, soles of feet on bed.
Lubricate her vagina externally and internally with KY jelly.
Next lubricate your own penis with it all along the shaft, including the head.
Next, lie alongside her and put your penis head right on the opening of her vagina. Push in the head gently as much as it wil go, and leave it there, pushing in gently back and forth.
Keep talking to her, telling her how much you love her, and generally get her to relax. Let several minutes pass, and just keep talking soothingly. Her vaginal muscles are likely to relax, and open enough for the shaft of your penis to enter!